What Is Beautiful Is Not The Eyes, It Is The Looks

In Jhon Koening’s dictionary of dark emotions, a complex emotion is named, which is what we feel when we pass another person on the street and look into each other’s eyes for a few seconds. It seems that they spy on us or that we spy through a small hole in the wall and that makes us feel vulnerable. The emotion now has a name: opia. Because it is not the eyes that radiate beauty, but the looks.

When we travel by train, we are sitting in a restaurant or walking through our city, we meet very different people and sometimes we exchange glances, even without realizing it. The looks say many things about us, they give us away when we are sad, angry, in love, worried or tired.

Discover what’s behind a look

If we sit in front of a person, we ask him how he feels and he smiles at us, perhaps if we look him in the eye we can see that that smile is not real, that it does not accompany what the person really feels. The looks are part of non-verbal communication and teach us many things about others.

The movements of the eyes have been studied by Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), which has called this language of the eyes “ocular access keys”. Bandler and Gringer, the founders of NLP, watched a multitude of videos to decipher the meaning of eye movements.

They came to a clear conclusion: depending on the type of eye movement, people may be using different parts of the brain and different senses, so there are four different processing systems:

Visual

Usually when a person looks to the upper right they are building an image. Instead, if you look to the upper left, you are remembering an image.

Auditory

A person who remembers sounds looks to the left and if they construct them to the right. On many occasions, this movement of the eyes is accompanied by a tilt of the head.

Kinesthetic

If a person looks to the lower right it means that they are having access to their feelings, for example, when we are sad we tend to look down.

Auditory-digital

In this sense, if we look to the lower left, we are talking about ourselves.

But not all people work that way, and sometimes different processing systems are even combined, so we have to be careful when generalizing.

To find out how a person works we can ask simple questions, for example: how do you imagine your work in the future? In this way we will see how to react to visual creations and we will have a starting point to interpret their ways of looking.

To distinguish whether a smile is honest or not, the psychologist Paul Ekman argues that you have to observe the look. If a smile is honest and sincere, the eyes narrow and crow’s feet are generated at the ends.

3. Pupil dilation denotes interest

If a person is interested, the pupils dilate, and that dilation makes us look attractive. In this sense, a study was carried out in which two photos of a woman were shown and in one of them the size of the pupils was artificially altered. The result was that the photo in which the woman appeared with the most dilated pupils was considered more attractive.

4. The reciprocal look is a sign of love

Research has found that looking at each other intensely is a sign of mutual interest. That gaze held between two people who already know each other denotes admiration and love.

5. Eye contact can be misleading

It has always been thought that people who lie look away, but in reality, a liar person puts all his energy into his interlocutor’s belief, so he looks more intensely in the eyes. On the contrary, those who tell the truth do not need to prove anything, so they may be distracted and look elsewhere instead of looking into the eyes of the interlocutor.