7 Lessons To Know How To Love

Knowing how to love is a true art that requires work on oneself, experience and good will. Because sometimes, even if there is love, the quality of it is not always the same. There are loves of loves. Some manage to transform our lives positively and forever. Others are a torment, temporary or lasting. Some more are kept just out of habit and basically neither take away nor put into our lives.

An evolved and mature love is healthy, in the broad sense of the word. It significantly enriches the lives of those involved and contributes to the development and expansion of each one of them.

Knowing how to love implies recognizing the limits of a relationship and having reached a certain level of individual balance. Also learn to give up impossible desires and romantic fantasies.

Next we will delve into seven keys that must be taken into account to know love. Let’s go deeper.

1. The same experience, different looks

The first of the lessons to know how to love is to understand that each person is a unique universe. In love, especially that of a couple, sometimes there is an inordinate desire to build an extremely strong mutual identification.

However, even if two people share the same experience, each of them sees and assimilates it differently. This diversity makes it visible that the two are not as if they were one, but that they continue to be separate individuals. This is not bad, but positive and normal.

2. People change, one of the lessons to know how to love

People have a basic personality structure, which usually remains in essence, from infancy to old age. Despite this, we are also constantly changing beings. Time, experiences, learning changes, etc.

Knowing how to love is understanding this; in other words,  accepting that several of you are going to have to learn to love the same person again. The father does it with the son who was previously a boy and then a teenager. In couples, the idealized being becomes a real person and it is necessary to fall in love again. That’s how it works.

3. Taking care of yourself is a way of thinking about others

The first love that must be strengthened is the one that one owes to oneself. To know how to love others, it is first necessary that we be in relative peace and balance with ourselves. That we are aware of who we are, what we want and what we deserve.

Everything we do for ourselves we are also doing for others. If we are at peace, we can give peace. If we feel good about who we are, we can more easily accept others. If we take care of ourselves, we take care of the bonds with others.

4. Protect privacy

Currently, there is a collective desire for exposure. Many people want to show their personal life to a large audience and feel that it is valid to do so. There is also too much rush, especially in couple relationships, to get intimate with the other.

Those very private or vulnerable aspects of our life should be protected a little more. Knowing how to love is also having a little patience. Give time to time for ties to become closer and the field of intimacy to expand.

5. Everyone has their own battles

They say that each person “carries his own cross.” Although it may be a bit dramatic way of looking at it, the truth is that it is essentially true. We never fully understand the struggles a person has on a daily basis.

What we can do is take this into account to understand that everyone has their own difficulties and that this generates tensions and conflicts. It is not necessary that the other is explaining their discomforts and emptiness to us to understand it, when it is not as pleasant as it could be.

6. There is no total equality in relationships

Human relations are not commercial contracts that imply total fairness in all circumstances. Quite the opposite. The predominant note is asymmetry, inequity. Full correspondence is never achieved.

There are times when one gives more than the other and then the opposite happens. For this reason, we cannot keep an accounting and demand that they correspond to us in the same proportion, when we give something. Knowing how to love is giving the best and accepting what the other can and wants to give us.

7. You need to learn to say goodbye

Every love relationship ends at some point. The presence of other people in our life is always transitory. Sooner or later, and for various reasons, there will be a time when we no longer have your company.

Hence, it is important to learn to say goodbye to the loved one. The pain that this implies is not resolved by avoiding love ties, nor by trying to perpetuate them beyond reason. Losing those we love is a reality from which no one escapes and it is important to learn to accept.

These lessons to know how to love are guidelines that are not fully realized. They should be taken as guidelines or guides and not as norms. It is enough to try to follow them, even if we do not succeed one hundred percent. Loving is also that: working to be better and making those around us better.