You Are Neither For So Much Nor I For So Little

It is not about belittling. When we express aloud that of “neither you are for so much nor I am for so little”,  we are not underestimating the other person. We are talking about a game of forces where someone is losing.

Loving means building a meaningful and enriching relationship where every effort is rewarded. We give and receive what we deserve, and that is something that is done with freedom and authenticity.

Some often express to their partner the idea that he or she “deserves everything.” And without a doubt it will be like that, because to love is to wish all the best for that being that lives in our hearts. We would give everything for our partner.

Now, it is not appropriate or healthy to hold on to the other person emotionally to the point of dissolving our own integrity. Nobody is for as much as for you, you keep so little. We invite you to think about it.

Don’t settle for a little and don’t want it all

Often in our affective relationships we tend to fall for these ideas completely or nothing. They are unions based on absolute dedication, where personal interests do not fit, a love that does not want middle terms and is pleased only with extremes.

• Neither of us deserve everything from the other person, because we also have the right to have our own corners. To cultivate our individuality, and that personal growth that is achieved with our own choices, without the control that some couples sometimes exercise over their spouses.

• Sometimes the so-called “romantic love” is what popularizes this idea of ​​all-or-nothing relationships. They are couples who understand love as control, as personal possession. There where jealousy is part of the relationship.
• We should not aspire to have it all from the other person. No one is the owner of someone else’s life, no matter how much they love it, it is simply a reciprocity, a union based on a choice of two mature people who seek to build “life in common”.

Do not settle for little. There are no half loves or loves today I love you but tomorrow I have to think about it. Living in affective uncertainty generates suffering. And living in a relationship where one is above the other carves out shortcomings in our hearts.

I want to be to you what you are to me

There would be the true essence, the fullest and healthiest truth. I want to be to you what you are to me. And indeed, we know that achieving this is sometimes very difficult, which is something we all aspire to.

It is possible that all these concepts are difficult for you to achieve and that you see it more as an aspiration than as a reality. Now, there is no hope that the mind does not dream and that our emotions yearn, so we invite you to reflect on these ideas:

• Before obsessing over looking for a person who complements you, or who is capable of filling your gaps, try to become what you want to find.
• Heal your wounds, find your balance and be the architect of your own life to be that person who knows how to be happy with himself, and in turn, make others happy.
• Avoid those unhealthy attachments where you blindly cling to someone. Don’t let your happiness depend on the other person’s whims or mood swings.
• Nobody deserves to be loved badly, at times, with closed eyes or at the extremes of today I give you everything and tomorrow just a little.

Image Courtesy: Claudia Tremblay