While I Waited For What Never Came, Came What I Never Expected

While I waited for what my dreams wove in their almost impossible house of cards, life ended up surprising me with something different, with something that I did not imagine but that fate, magic, or chance, offered me in exchange for nothing.

How many times has something similar happened to us? We spend a large part of our life planning what we want to achieve, sometimes waiting for almost unattainable aspects, when suddenly, everyday life outlines with its usual harmony something casual that pleases us and fills us with happiness.

If we think about it, it is very difficult for us to have to wait for that moment when at last, life gives that turn of meaning and remembers us to wrap ourselves in the form of luck, encouragement, warmth and hope.

It may bring you that professional dream in which you have invested so much, it is possible that at last, that person who fits in your corners will appear and build the puzzle of your happiness. There are many things we dream of, the things for which we are patient and despair …

However, bear in mind something: not only what life likes to bring you will finally be good, understand that the wait has also been worth it, because it is life lived. And this is always important.

I waited so long that I got tired of loving you

Sometimes we expect so much from people that we only find disappointment. Perhaps for this reason, there are those who often say that to avoid suffering it is better not to expect anything from anyone, and to expect everything from ourselves. Although there are nuances in this sentence that must be specified.

Now, we must also be clear about one aspect: people also have the right to expect the best from the people we love. Simply because we believe in reciprocity, in the fact that if I give affection and dedication, I have the right to receive the same.

• Waiting for others to act according to our expectations responds to a minimal need for control in our day-to-day life and in our social and emotional relationships.

• Knowing how they are going to treat us, or taking for granted that loved ones love us, respect us and care about us avoids us that uncertainty in which it would be so difficult for us to live if we did not have those roots, that emotional security.

• Perhaps that is why, on occasions, disappointment is frequent, especially when there is something that one does not expect: the lie, the coldness, the unconcern or the distance.

Sometimes we expect things that never quite come to pass. It is common, for example, to fall in love with someone until we realize that that person, in reality, was never what we thought.

Dreams fade, fade. However, later the magic of chance arrives and brings us another person, someone we did not expect and who gives us a sincere and full happiness.

Not expecting anything also gives you freedom

Not waiting for anything gives you freedom, there is no doubt. However, this does not mean at all that we do not have the right to make plans or expect that reciprocity of which we spoke before. They are positive, necessary and undoubtedly recommended aspects.

We know that it is not easy to assume that attitude where we stop expecting certain things. To do this, and to understand this subtle perspective a little better, these dimensions will surely help you to reflect on:

“There were times when I expected so much from certain people that I ended up frustrated and wanting to get away from everything and everyone.”

• We are sure this phrase is familiar to you. The vast majority of us have gone through this situation, and hence, it was first necessary to remind ourselves that it is not worth paying the world, and less yourself, with the same currency. Do not suffer more than you should. 

• Stopping waiting will offer you greater freedom in your day-to-day life, it will bring you calm and you will allow things to arise naturally, as they should.

• It will always be much better not to set high expectations about things, and even less about people. Let them arise alone, let whoever surrounds you show themselves as they are without you expecting anything, only then will you discover who deserves you and who does not.

Allow your relationships to enjoy greater confidence and freedom from now on. When you stop expecting things, things come up on their own and you don’t invest as much negative energy (worries, anxiety) . Whoever loves you will look for you and you won’t have to wait. 

Images courtesy of Cintya Thornson