Whenever You Consider Taking Action, Think Beforehand How It Would Affect You

Think of a time in your life when you were not at all proud of your behavior. Maybe that time you yelled at your mother, disrespected your partner, or looked defiantly at a co-worker.

How did you feel after doing it? I am sure that at first you could feel some pleasure since if you carried out these behaviors it is because you felt hurt. Somehow you thought that it was not fair that they treated you so badly, in a way that is the opposite of what you needed at that moment.

But I’m also sure that afterward you felt guilty and did your best to repair the damage, even if it was covertly. Think about it.

The ego sometimes pushes us to act in an inappropriate way with others without thinking about the consequences that this can have in the long term, simply because we allow ourselves to be dominated by it or by our emotional state of the moment. He thinks that this is precisely where keeping control, holding the runaway horse, is a good idea.

Think of yourself before you act

A good way to handle the ego is to think first about how it might affect us if someone else acted in the way we think we should proceed. Many of our inappropriate behaviors would dissipate before they are executed, simply if we pay attention to the reflection that is drawn in this mirror.

If we can feel how that person would feel, put ourselves in their shoes or on their skin and understand it, it will be more difficult for us to act impulsively. We will save on damages, regrets and moments of embarrassment.

Learning to use it is essential to improve our social relationships and even our relationship with our own self, with our ego. We will be much happier if we know how to handle that ego and keep it at bay.

Therefore, whenever you find yourself in a situation where someone has not behaved in the best way with you, and you are willing to act with revenge, with envy or with hatred, make the mental effort to get into their person and think on how it might affect you. In that we are not so different.

It is smart and rational to be above such situations and act calmly, without suffering unnecessarily. The “eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth” is a big mistake and will only bring us negative consequences in the medium or long term.

Some keys to learn to empathize

Listen to the other person and open up to them

Sometimes someone who has hurt you or has not known how to behave as you expected is actually going through a pothole, has made a mistake, is hurt or has problems. Perhaps, before criticizing him and preparing to return it, which is what we often do, think if it would not be better if you asked him what is wrong with him or why he treated you in such a way. You may be surprised and have a lot to tell you.

It is also necessary that you open up and connect with the other person on an emotional level, that you understand their feelings, but at the same time be able to help them with their adversities.

Try not to make hasty judgments

If we want to be empathic with others, we must know them, delve into them and understand that we are not clones of others and that sometimes certain things will bother us, just as they will bother us. We all fail from time to time.

If you find yourself saying a blanket judgment about someone else, correct yourself immediately and judge only his or her behavior, but not him or her generally.

Express your feelings clearly but act calmly

It is an act of bravery and maturity to say what has bothered us or what we liked, both one thing and another are necessary for good social relations, although saying the negative always costs us more and in the end, from keeping quiet about it, We end up taking actions that we later regret.

Understand the other person and show that understanding while expressing that, although you understand, you do not agree. This will be enough to keep you from getting upset or defensive.

Do not act impulsively out of feelings of hurt or anger, because this will not help you at all.

Pride always corrupts and makes us more vulnerable, apart from the fact that taking as a playmate almost always condemns us to defeat. Understand that the other – as a person – is wrong and a lot, but just like you. Human understanding and empathy are essential to get along with others.