Treat Your Children With Care: They Are Made Of Dreams

Childhood has its own rhythm, its own way of feeling, seeing and thinking. Few claims can be as wrong as trying to replace them with our way of feeling, seeing or thinking, because children will never be copies of their parents. Children are children of the world and are made of dreams, hopes and illusions to build in their free and privileged minds.

Just a few months ago, a piece of news came out to the media that puzzles us and invites us to reflect. In the United Kingdom, many families prepare their 5-year-old children so that at 6, they can take an entrance test that allows them to enter the best elite schools. A so-called “promising future” now goes hand in hand with the loss of childhood. In turning into “opponents” children who should be playing in the parks.

Nowadays, many mothers and fathers continue with the idea of ​​“accelerating” their children’s skills, of cognitively stimulating us, of putting Mozart on them while they are still sleeping in the womb. Now this need to raise fit children may be raising fit children for themselves . .

Our children and the competitiveness of the environment

It is clear to all of us that in these changing and competitive societies we need above all people capable of adapting to these demands. Nor do we doubt that the British children who manage to enter the best elite schools will have a good job tomorrow. However, it is also necessary to ask ourselves …

Was all that emotional cost worth it? Losing his childhood? Following the guidelines that their parents had programmed for them since they were 5 years old?

It should be said that today there are no conclusive studies that support the idea that “accelerating” certain skills, such as reading, in 4-year-old children is so positive or that it has a long-term impact on their academic performance. What is achieved in many cases is that children begin to know dimensions such as frustration, stress and above all, having to adjust to parental expectations.

Children are made of dreams and must be treated with care. If we insist on filling their time with objectives to meet and skills to assume, every day we will be breaking a bit of their wings. Those with whom perhaps tomorrow he would achieve his own dreams. If we give them adult obligations when they are still just children, we will also tear off the wings of their kites, to hold them to the ground, making them lose their childhood.

Slow parenting

The “Slow Parenting” or parenting on a slow fire is the faithful reflection of that social and philosophical current that invites us to slow down, to be more aware of what surrounds us. For this reason, when it comes to upbringing, a more simplified and patient model is promoted, with which to respect the rhythms of the child in each evolutionary stage.

The basic axes that define slow parenting would be the following:

• The basic need of a child is to play and discover the world.

• We are not the “friends” of our children, we are their mothers and fathers. Our duty is to love them, guide them, be their example and facilitate their maturity without pressure.

• Always remember that “less is more”. That creativity is the weapon of children, that a pencil, a paper and a field have more power than a telephone or a computer.

• Share time with your children in quiet spaces.

Respectful parenting

We are sure you have already heard of respectful parenting. Although the best known of this approach is the use of positive reinforcement over punishment or the classic scolding, this educational style contains many other dimensions that are worth taking into account.

•  You have to educate without shouting.

• The use of rewards is not always appropriate : we run the risk that our children get used to always expecting rewards without understanding the intrinsic benefit of effort, of personal achievement.

• Saying “no” and setting limits on them is not going to generate any trauma, it is necessary.

• Respectful parenting makes heavy use of communication, listening, and patience. A child who feels cared for and valued is someone who feels free to preserve those childhood dreams and shape them into adulthood.

Let us respect his childhood, let us respect that stage that offers roots to his hopes and wings to his expectations.