The Tyrant Who Lives Within You
RAE ‘tyrant’
The ‘tyrant’ is a ‘being’ that dwells within us with a single goal: p rotegernos . It is a part of our psyche designed to keep us in our comfort zone. Settled in the simply everyday little dangerous. The ‘tyrant’ takes care that we do not make crazy or little thoughtful decisions in order to avoid future troubles. However, what the ‘tyrant’ does not know is that sometimes that spontaneity and that irrational or little thoughtful push are essential ingredients to achieve what we set out to do.
The ‘tyrant’, as our bodyguard that he is, does not think, he simply executes. We are always inclined towards the simplest , towards that which has the least negative implications in the long term. It acts, to use, in the same way that a good antivirus would act; assessing potential threats and stopping them. The only negative is that sometimes he is wrong and there are certain messages that do not reach us. Important messages that can radically change things.
For this reason, we must be vigilant if we do not want it to dominate us, attentive in case the dark passenger appears. Identifying it is simple. Always reacts aggressively. The ‘tyrant’ always makes us justify ourselves for everything. Example:
We will recognize the ‘tyrant’ when the tyrannized adopts an exaggerated position in front of a trivial problem as in the example that we have just seen. His attitude will be tense, defensive, accelerated to move quickly to another matter and will justify himself to convince himself that the situation is like this and cannot be otherwise.
So it is your own responsibility to identify and deal with the ‘tyrant’ every time he appears so that our options in life are not limited. When this ‘being’ enters the scene, you have to pay special attention to his speech, obviously if you observe from the outside it will be much easier than if you are the one who is tyrannized. Observe how he pronounces certain words, which are the parts in which he emphasizes the most and with what he is especially insistent. By system, the ‘tyrant’ makes us lie as a self-defense mechanism. Example:
—Do you think that going to the gym three times a week is very important for you to reach your goal of losing weight and getting in shape?
POSSIBILITY 1 : —Sayed like this, it sounds exaggerated, but it is true that my children sometimes limit me. (The answer is natural and relaxed, it shows that you are not hiding anything and that you are telling the truth).
POSSIBILITY 2 : —No! Not at all, how can they be a hindrance? They are my children, I knew what it meant to have them. (From the beginning of the answer, you notice that you tense up and quickly answer that no; you don’t even take a moment to reflect on it. Also, you say NO when clearly it is YES and finally you say: “I knew what it meant to have them”, as a reproach.
The ‘tyrant’ is a tough nut to crack, of that there is no doubt. For this reason, we will need all kinds of tools to detect it and thus neutralize it in order to move forward.
A good way to get him out is by talking, asking relaxed questions, reassuring him to let his guard down. Besides, one of the most powerful tools that coaching has given us is the use of the question and the other, directly extracted from NLP , is the metamodel ; both perfect ways to detect that inner ‘tyrant’. Attached to them, the use of language and the Milton Erickson model will also help us .
