The Bad Thing About Always Saying No Is That People Stop Counting On You
We cannot always be there for others; Moreover, it is healthy to say “no” to any proposal. But, like everything in excess, it affects us; in this case, exceeding the “no” to others can cause us to become socially isolated. The bad thing about always saying no is that people stop counting on you.
Marc and Ángel Chernoff are authors of the book A Thousand Little Things That Happy and Successful People Do Differently. They have spent more than a decade guiding and helping people change their lives for the better. In his latest book, 12 Toxic Behaviors That Turn People Away From You , always saying no to others is one of those behaviors.
Knowing how to say “no” is a skill known as assertiveness. A social skill closely related to the confidence we have in ourselves. It allows us to set limits and not give in to manipulation and emotional blackmail. But, like all currency, it also has its cross or its danger, rather.
But from there, to never giving in, to despising or systematically ignoring the wishes of others or skipping what they have planned there is a difference. Precisely the difference that makes the coin fall from one side or the other. Thus, d always ecir that may not be a sign that something is wrong and this makes us socially isolate ourselves.
Always saying that it is not a sign that something is wrong
At some point in our lives, we have all felt the need to be alone and we withdraw a little from those around us. However, when this isolation is indefinite and the person involuntarily ceases to maintain all kinds of relationships with their surroundings, with endless “no’s” ahead of them, we are faced with a possible problem of social isolation. In reality, isolation is the manifestation of something much deeper.
Although you may think otherwise, most people who leave family and friends for unknown reasons do not do so voluntarily, although their “no” and their rudeness may indicate that it is premeditated. When we do not relate to our environment, our brain does not receive the appropriate stimuli and does not work properly. For this reason, people who isolate themselves socially have a harder time making decisions.
We need others like others need us
Our social nature makes us depend on other living beings, but not in a capricious or negative way, but being aware of what we can contribute to other people and what they can contribute to us. This is defined as the interdependence of the human being: we are a tangled network of people who contribute to our environment, at the same time that we need it.
According to Maslow’s pyramid of needs, affiliation or social needs are understood hierarchically behind basic needs and security and protection needs. Membership needs include:
- The function of relationship with the rest of the people or the rest of the group.
- Participation with other people or within an established group.
- And social acceptance.
As social beings that we are, the socialization process marks our quality of life. Being able to feel safe with other people is one of the best protectors for our mental health. Something that is not possible by always saying no.
