Parents Who Abandon Their Children, Why Do They Do It?

There are fathers who abandon their children and mothers who at some point give up their responsibility and choose to leave. The narratives that trace the cases of child abandonment are multiple, as varied and particular as the people involved in these situations. Thus, and although we are clear that nothing can be as devastating for a child as these experiences, there are situations that can be understandable.

Poverty and scarcity of resources is, in many cases, the most common factor. There are very young parents, for example, who choose to give their children up for adoption or leave them in the hands of relatives. In these situations, we could not speak of “abandonment” as such, but it is true that sometimes society itself judges them that way.

We are basically facing a reality as harsh as it is polyhedral in terms of triggers, situations and particular realities. There are experiences that create real traumas in the little ones. We cannot ignore that the wounds of these experiences are deep and, often, permanent. Growing up without a father, reaching adolescence without the figure of a mother marks and leaves deficiencies.

Let’s dive a little deeper into this topic.

Reasons that explain why there are parents who abandon their children

In our day to day we often come across dramatic stories that should never happen. Despite being an increasingly advanced society, children continue to be abandoned.

Newborn babies continue to appear in unexpected places and most of those who manage to survive hide behind sad stories of mothers on the edge, where social services have not been able to reach.

We know that there are many types of situations and that some are fully understandable and others not so much. Be that as it may, there is a factor that is usually present: the abandonment of a child is not a momentary decision, it is not something that is chosen from one moment to the next. In general, there is usually a long process of meditation and reflection in which, for whatever reasons, the most dramatic is chosen.

Let’s take a look at the most common triggers.

Economic problems in parents who abandon their children

Poverty, low resources and social exclusion are usually the most common trigger for a parent (or both) to choose to abandon their children. In this case, it is essential that society itself knows how to detect and act in time to avoid these extreme situations.

Drug abuse, alcoholism

Drug abuse and social exclusion often go hand in hand. However, it can also be the case of a couple in which one of the parents has fallen into alcoholism. As is well said, children of alcoholic parents tend to experience two types of abandonment.

The first occurs in the home itself when carelessness, neglect or even violence can act as a prologue to what can happen later, which is nothing other than the definitive abandonment of the family nucleus.

Unwanted pregnancies

If we wonder why there are parents who abandon their children, it is important to talk about unwanted pregnancies. In this context, very different situations can arise. Rapes are a factor, as are underage pregnancies. These are extreme situations in which many young women feel alone without knowing how to act.

On the other hand, there may be other types of situations. There are couples who end up having a child without having foreseen it. While one of the parents eagerly assumes this new stage, the couple does not experience it in the same way. Sooner or later, you may choose to leave home for good.

Run away from bondage, immature parents

There are immature fathers and mothers lacking maternal instinct, parents of both types who, at any given moment, may choose to abandon a child. Not everyone is prepared for that responsibility and even if they voluntarily seek to have a child, reality shows them that everything it entails is desperately beyond them.

On average, abandonment is always more common during the first year of life, but the immature parent can make the decision at any time. Regardless of whether your children are three, five or ten years old. There is a moment in which the decision is already considered and it is chosen to flee from any ties.

Relationship problems: abandonment as a way to restart

When it comes to understanding why there are parents who abandon their children, it is necessary to delve into relationship problems. Disagreements, separations, complicated divorces, the difficulty of reaching agreements on child support or custody lead many parents to the most radical option of all: permanent abandonment.

• These realities are especially harsh on children. They are not only witnesses of all that process of estrangement, fights and bad atmosphere between their parents. In addition, in certain cases, they may feel guilty for that definitive flight on the part of one of their parents.
• On the other hand, something common tends to happen. The abandoning parent tends to restart his life with new partners, forming other families. In these cases, a new abandonment may or may not occur. However, it is always as dramatic as it is striking the fact that as a result of disagreements with ex-partners, someone chooses to stop being part of a child’s life.

To conclude, as we can well see the reasons why someone abandons a child are as complex as they are reprehensible in many cases. It is clear that there are situations that can be understood, others, on the other hand, are clearly punishable. Be that as it may, it is necessary that as far as possible we put means so that these situations do not occur.

The absence of a father or a mother is an incurable gulf in the life of a child. Also, an indelible wound in the adult who has had to grow up with that emptiness. Let’s keep it in mind.