Parenting Styles: How Do We Educate Our Children?

Parenting is a complex task due to the enormous challenge it represents. The truth is that no two children are the same, although the problems they pose may be similar. In addition, there are different ways of dealing with these problems, these being different ways that we call parenting styles. Now, are all forms of education valid and correct?

For obvious reasons, not all ways of raising a child benefit the child. Depending on the style adopted by the parents, the child may be more or less happy and develop correctly or not. So what style should parents adopt in order for their child to be happier and develop well?

Before talking about what is better or worse, we have to know how we can classify parenting styles. The studies of the psychologist Diana Baumrind are based on the existence of two dimensions and depending on how they are combined, they will configure the different educational styles. These dimensions are Parental Control and Parental Responsiveness.

What is parental control?

When we talk about parental control, we mean how restrictive or demanding parents are with their children. A high level of parental control would imply a strong limitation of the child’s freedom or a high demand for responsibilities towards the child. A low level of parental control would mean paying little attention to performance and not giving the child responsibility.

Parental control is what helps children guide their behavior. It is important to apply it effectively, flexibly, consistently and consistently. In this sense, when parents choose a parenting style they are influencing the present and future of their children in a very powerful way.

What is paternal receptivity?

Parental receptivity is the psychological term that refers to the emotional support that parents provide to their children, it is also known as affection. For example, parents put this  receptivity into practice when they pay attention to the  child’s feelings and help him with emotional conflicts.

Parental responsiveness is a very important characteristic. When absent, the infant can be seen on many occasions only in the face of emotional problems, something that can lead in severe cases to emotional disorders, such as learned helplessness or childhood depression.

Parenting styles

Now that we know the two dimensions that underpin parenting styles, we can start talking about them. Combining these two dimensions in high or low binomials we get a total of four parenting styles.

It must be borne in mind that when we talk about these types of parenting they are prototypical categories and to a certain extent artificial, the reality is much more complex than what these styles show us;  but this classification is a useful tool for us to approach the study of the rearing of the progeny, for this reason it is important to be very careful with the conclusions drawn through this classification.

Here are the most popular parenting styles:

Authoritarian parents

This style is characterized by high parental control and low responsiveness. Here we find parents very rigid with the rules and not very affectionate. They try to impose their criteria counting very little on the child’s needs. For these parents the important thing is discipline and they need to think that they dominate and control the situation.

Children raised in this way often develop a dependent lifestyle. They are also not capable of being assertive and are easily irritable. Although educating in this way is easy for parents, it has disastrous consequences for children.

Permissive parents

They are the polar opposite of authoritarian parents: they are characterized by low control and high receptivity. Through the lack of rules at home, they intend to convey unconditional love to their children. Although the emotional support is high, this style of parenting can be harmful for the education of the little ones.

The consequences of this parenting style can be very heterogeneous depending on different variables. On the one hand, we find aggressive, rebellious and impulsive children. On the other hand, this way of educating is also associated with active, outgoing and creative children.

Although it can have some good consequences, it is a parenting style that does not help the child at all. The child must learn that the social environment is not going to meet all of his demands when he asks for it and this will be a difficult lesson to assimilate in this parenting style.

Neglectful parents

They are parents who do not exercise any type of control or give emotional support to their children. They are usually abused children or children of parents with many obligations. These children develop as if they did not have parents and that usually produces a lot of associated deficiencies.

In the children of this type of parents we find the worst of the prognoses. A multitude of studies correlate this parenting style with high rates of juvenile delinquency and hostility in children. Growing up without any support leaves the child abandoned in a hostile world that he does not understand. Contemplating this situation, it is easy to understand why they react violently to society.

Democratic parents

They are characterized because they combine a high degree of affectivity and parental control. They are parents who set limits on the behavior of children, but explaining and reasoning why the rules. They listen to their children’s objections, and if they are reasonable they have no problem being tolerant and changing their minds.

Here we find the style with more positive results. Children tend to show high self-esteem, high social competence, and excellent school performance. By allowing them to reason and discuss with parents, we develop critical thinking in them that will allow them to function in society in a healthy way.

Now, having the data in hand that the best for children is a democratic style, a question arises, why is democratic education one of the parenting styles that parents apply least?