My Desire To Socialize Has Diminished: Why Is This?

“ My desire to socialize has diminished. If before I did not hesitate to accept each invitation and each proposal, now it is much more difficult for me to meet people “. If this feeling is familiar to you, you should know that you are not the only one. In the last 18 months, and as a result of the pandemic, the social habits of many people seem to have changed.

Now, is there a problem with this? Obviously, each person decides how he wants to live his life and how to occupy his time at all times, which is not at all pathological. However, this phenomenon is not without a certain social and psychological interest. Sometimes certain events urge us to make personal reflections.

Maybe before we just let ourselves go, to do things only out of inertia. Now we choose to feel. Nowadays, we are inclined towards more specific and emotionally significant experiences. However, yes, it is also important to consider those more problematic cases, such as social anhedonia. We analyze it.

My desire to socialize has decreased: factors that explain it

The fact of having spent a lot of time at home has changed us more than we think. Our interaction patterns were altered and even our way of working also began to follow another pattern. Home became a refuge and there are those who still resist going out into the world in the same way as before, with the same energy, enthusiasm and confidence.

This causes a large number of people to tell themselves more and more that ” my desire to socialize has decreased, I feel that I am not the same as before “. So much so that we are seeing a phenomenon set in that Professor Jeff Hancock and his colleagues called in a study “the butler lies.”

They are neither more nor less than those excuses that we give by WhatsApp when someone proposes to meet us. For example, lately we make use of excuses such as “my mobile was silent, I didn’t see your message; I’ve been offline lately or I have a lot to do ” .

Hyperconnectivity and the need we had to respond almost immediately and say yes to that proposal has also changed in some cases.

You don’t feel like socializing because you are not feeling well

As we are not feeling well mentally, there is no mood to interact. Not even to leave the house. The truth is that there is still not enough talk about the underlying anxiety and depression problems that are increasingly evident in the population.

What people experience in these cases is disinterest, lack of energy and courage to communicate with others. Also, a feeling of unreality, a lack of meaning in connection with friends, family, etc. Behind these realities there may be a mood disorder.

My desire to socialize has decreased: social anhedonia

Social anhedonia is not directly related to depression or anxiety. Rather, it is a preference for loneliness, lack of social skills, desires for isolation, and often more troublesome psychological vulnerability. What these men and women experience is a complete lack of interpersonal reward in interactions.

It is not something specific in time either. It is a state that becomes chronic. Sometimes social anhedonia is directly linked to autism spectrum disorder or schizophrenia.

You are in a process of change: rethinking what and who you want in your life

When you tell yourself that “my desire to socialize has diminished” it is possible that you are in the middle of a vital transition. Sometimes difficult times invite us to deep reflection. It may be that this lack of desire when it comes to meeting your friends or colleagues is due to the fact that you are considering making changes.

You only need time, you will regain the pleasure of the connection

You don’t have to go back in a big way. That is to say, it is not advisable to recover your social life all at once by attending everything they propose to you. There are processes that take time, and recovering our real and physical connection also requires its patterns, its cadence, etc. If you feel that your desire to socialize is not the same, give yourself a few weeks.

It starts with meeting a meaningful friendship. Then, expand the circle with those people you appreciate the most. In the end, quality counts more than quantity and if there is something we have learned in these months, it is that life is a precious commodity. Let’s enjoy it at our own pace, in the way we want and with who else we want. No hurries…