Mothers And Daughters: A Bond Of Strength

The relationship between mothers and daughters is a bond that thrives on complicity and strength. Few bonds can be as intense and complex at the same time as that of that woman who educates her child, wishing to be her daily pillar, her refuge, her accomplice, but at the same time that figure capable of offering her freedom to find her own path, the one she wants.

It is often said that when a woman gives birth to a girl she decides that she will not make the same mistakes that her own mother made with her in the past. All of us, in some way, have that somewhat complex emotional legacy that we do not want to project onto our children.

However, sometimes the most appropriate thing is to let ourselves be carried away by instinct and by the wisdom of those emotions that tell us what is best for our children. We invite you to reflect on it.

Mothers and daughters, the inertia of a complex bond

There are many types of parenting and all of them are almost always based on the educational style of the mothers themselves. There are controlling, narcissistic, suffocating, hyperprotective … But there are also wonderful ones, which favor the adequate emotional growth of those girls who can see in their mothers a reference to imitate, on which to lean to be part of the world tomorrow . Daughters of life that advance in freedom.

Now, an aspect that is always present is that “dance of interdependence” that we pointed out at the beginning. Daughters want to dispose of their own freedom, their private spaces, as soon as possible, however, on occasions, the very inertia of the relationship makes them return in search of approval, of affection, of that habitual complicity between mothers and daughters.

It is, therefore, a complex link where the force is always intense, either towards the enriching side or towards the somewhat more traumatic aspect.

It is appropriate to know what kind of strategies a mother must carry out with her daughters to make them independent, wise and happy women but with roots strong enough to make them feel proud of that bond built with their mothers. We invite you to reflect on these keys.

• A girl is not obliged to be the daily accomplice of her mother or that person with whom she shares an adult’s problems, fears or anxieties early on. A daughter needs a mother to carry out this role, someone who shows her strength and security, as well as closeness.

• A daughter is not a copy of a mother. She has her own tastes, her own needs that sometimes have nothing to do with what the mother had at her age because times are different. .

• Successful motherhood is one where children are given the opportunity to fend for themselves, feeling safe and capable. A mother shares her experience with her daughter, offers her advice, support and affection, but also confidence so that she is the one who makes her way through life to become the woman she wants to be.

An unbreakable bond

To conclude, despite the difficulties and those times of conflict and differences that every young woman usually experiences with her mother, there always comes a time when that gaze puts aside her childhood years to reach maturity.

It is then that the daughter, who is possibly already a mother too , sees another woman face to face, that lady with tired eyes and immense affection who has tried to do her best. At that moment the bond takes on a new and wonderful significance.

What does science tell us?

Researchers from California, through MRI, discovered that mothers and daughters have identical anatomy in the part of the brain responsible for emotions. This explains the strong transmission of the emotional scheme between them. What can lead them to feel things the same way and also to suffer from the same pathologies. This similarity enhances mutual understanding.

This also explains why the relationship between mothers and daughters is sometimes not easy. In the same way that they are able to identify and assimilate emotions, being too close on an emotional level, they can collide. This shock is what would cause the aforementioned “love-hate” relationship.

Despite this discovery, there is still much to investigate in mother-daughter relationships. For this reason, science continues day by day in its quest to find more exact explanations for different phenomena.