Manipulation Techniques: To Be Loved Or To Be Hated?

There are different ways to make someone do what we want or, in other words, to manipulate a person. Influencing other people can be simpler than it sounds. A glance, a gesture or a few words can be enough to have another person at our command. However, manipulation can also be exercised by feeding fear or by exchanging favors. There are many manipulation techniques for it.

In general, two great ways of manipulating or influencing stand out. One is based on imposition, while the other is based on compliance. The two ways are very different and have advantages and disadvantages. Using one or the other will depend on the skills of the person using them, the person you want to influence and the environment. The social situation in which you find yourself is also going to be a fundamental determinant.

Manipulate by imposing

Sometimes the goal of manipulation is to prevail. Show that you are above and that others must obey. In these cases there are two useful processes to manipulate other people. Let’s see them.

Obedience

When we obey against our wishes, we do so because not following what they dictate would imply consequences that we want to avoid. To obey is to submit to the will and authority of another person. But not only do we obey a person, we also obey ideas, doctrines and ideologies. Disobeying implies that we will have to pay a price, either in the form of punishment or in the withdrawal of a reward. In the education of children, this mechanism is frequent so that they behave as adults wish.

Submission

Submission consists in doing everything they ask, in submitting to another person. Submission differs from obedience in that in this case there is total dependence. When you are submitted, orders are not criticized, they are accepted as something natural. Failure to do so is not an option. These two processes obviously work through fear. The people fearful of these practices are the ones who are going to be manipulated and coerced. For this reason, imposition is considered an invasive technique.

Manipulate through compliance

Niccolò Machiavelli wondered which is better: to be loved or feared? Although the mechanisms of imposition will lead us to be feared, there are other manipulation techniques that, achieving the same thing, make the people who dictate the rules be loved. They are compliance processes and are set out below:

Persuasion

Persuasion is the use of words to convey information, feelings, or reasons. Through the word you try to change the attitudes, feelings or actions of people. To manipulate someone through persuasion, it is necessary to know that person, know the credibility that they give us, their beliefs, their interests and their needs. Based on that knowledge, persuasion uses logic, rhetoric, emotions, body language, and many other techniques.

Seduction

Seduction can be considered the art of driving a person crazy. A more correct definition says that seduction is the process by which a person persuades and emotionally impacts another with the aim of making them fall in love or do favors. One of the best known mechanisms of seduction is the so-called “indirect game”. This consists of letting a feeling of attraction glimpse without showing it directly. In this way, interest and attraction increase and the other person is the one who takes the first step.

Acquiescence

Acquiescence refers to systematic consent, acceptance or approval. The acquiescence refers to the individual who consents or approves a certain matter. In psychology, acquiescence refers to the person who responds in the affirmative without prior reasoning. Moving the term to conformity, obtaining acquiescence would consist of an affirmative answer to any demand we made.

Exchange

The exchange consists of giving to receive. If we want someone to do something, a good start is to do something for them. Taking into account Cialdini’s persuasion techniques, reciprocity refers to the need in social relationships to restore balance. Making a personal confidentiality leads to something personal being told to us, giving a gift increases the probability that another gift will be given to us. Therefore, giving something without prior notice or request may persuade the person who receives it to give something in return.

These manipulation techniques through compliance are going to be less invasive. With them it is possible to manipulate other people without them noticing. Fear is not going to be the engine that leads them to obey. However, these techniques are more difficult to maintain over time. Both enforcement and compliance can be helpful with their advantages and disadvantages. It all depends on what you are trying to achieve.