It Is Not Necessary To Hurt To Teach, Nor To Be Hurt To Learn
Within our world, many types of people surround us, as well as circumstances and particularities that shape and condition our emotional development. Thus, there are inevitably painful situations and people for whom hurting others is too easy; or moments of great happiness and people who help others to be happy.
In a way, all of this – the good and the bad – cannot be avoided and will always exist, since no one is perfect. We all make mistakes and sometimes we are the ones who hurt without realizing it. The problem comes, however, when it becomes a habit to believe that in order to learn one must suffer, when the truth is that it is neither necessary to hurt to teach nor to be hurt to learn.
Pain and its positive side
Just a few days ago we commented – and we will pick it up again at the end of this article – that learning is always a gift, even if the teacher was the pain. This suffering, at least, has not been in vain since any fruit collected that will serve us for new experiences will be positive. None of us want to be hurt to have to draw a lesson from suffering and insurmountable days of sadness.
Perhaps Shakespeare’s statement lacks its context to be able to understand it properly but, even without this, it also seems to have its part of the truth: in cases in which pain is inevitable and that escapes from our hands, it is true that we cannot act and that we are forced to overcome the bad trance. However, beyond these, it is also good to remember that what happens to us passes through the filter of our mind and there we have the last word.
That is to say, it is beneficial to distinguish between what is unavoidable pain and what is optional suffering: when someone hurts another person without any logic, their behavior is not tolerable or admissible. Negative experiences help us to mature, but when we are forced to live them: in any other case, the wound will never be a good learning technique.
Leave a mark without hurting
We don’t want one more wound that we probably don’t deserve, basically because life alone makes us enough: no one deserves scars that are born from systematic emotional injuries. Nobody should have someone by their side who would hurt them just because: because there are those who think that the fastest way to be noticed is to cause pain.
It is not an easy task, but if sometimes you get carried away by anger causing harmful events or you share your life with people who do, it may be time to rethink a change: almost all the teachings we can receive could be lived in another way, far from resentment, envy and evil.
We cannot let them make us feel bad for no reason and for this we have all the power in our hands, because it does not hurt whoever wants to, but who can . It is good to choose those who leave a mark on us by showing us what they are honestly, making us better than we are, simply taking care of our feelings and valuing our inner “I”.
That they have hurt you is not an excuse to hurt
Toxic people who harm us more than help us are everywhere, so it is difficult to escape the damage that they can inflict on us. However, as we have already said, taking control of our lives is what will help us avoid being hurt repeatedly.
When we have lived through situations of great pain, psychological abuse and imposition by someone, we are left with a series of consequences forever that we have to learn to solve in the best possible way to avoid being pushed to behave in a similar way .
For example, some children who have felt emotionally abandoned and have grown up with great family instability have developed unsuccessful examples of learning in adulthood. In this sense, it is necessary to bear in mind that hurting with the excuse of having been injured does not lead to anything beneficial either for us or for others : if it is intended that someone listen to us and learn from something that we want to convey to them, this is not a correct road.
