Intolerance Appears When We Do Not Put Ourselves In The Place Of The Other

The simple touch, a meeting of glances or a phrase can “get us crazy” depending on who is in front of it. Intolerance is a very current problem that leads us to not bear having contact with others and that can make relationships worse.

There is a fine line between tolerance and lack of it. It seems that we are less and less patient or kind to others, that it is very difficult for us to put ourselves in their place and understand that confrontation leads nowhere.

What degree of intolerance do you have?

We will start from the basis that we are all or have been intolerant, either because of a bad day or because tolerance is not part of our values. Sad but real. Let’s go to  everyday situations, which is where we can analyze our degree of acceptance or denial towards others.

For example, if we are going down the street and we bump into someone because they are looking at the phone, if we are in the subway next to someone who practically sneezes in our face or if in a restaurant the diner across the street sips the soup noisily … it can grow in us a serious anger.

But there is even more: if a colleague from the office drags his feet when walking or a colleague stomps on heels, if our partner or friend is distracted when we are telling them something important or if a “commentator” of movies next door … it is not strange that we begin to smoke from our ears.

Why is it that these unimportant situations highlight our intolerance? People yelling on the bus, talking with a mouthful of food, or listening to music without headphones on the street shouldn’t be reason enough to make you angry.

Symptoms of intolerance

If anger is usually born in you by any of the examples that we have described above, you have to rethink the reason for your frustration. Realize that when you get angry in this way, the one who suffers twice is you, once because of the perceived “offense” and once because you have to bear your own anger. 

Think  that you are not alone in this world (fortunately) and that each being around you can do what they want as long as they do not attack you. You might think it’s okay, let me do it, but not bothering me!

So the second step is to know why it bothers you. The movie man is just trying to find a bond with someone who shares his love for movies; the young woman who sneezes in the subway has done it without realizing it and without the intention of making you sick; the one who sips the soup has perhaps been taught that way; the one with the heels thinks that the noise she makes is not so loud …

It is not that everyone is against you and that is why they choose those actions to annoy or disturb your peace of mind. You are the one who gets upset with them because you consider that they do it on purpose, that they have no respect for those around them or that they have all agreed to make your day worse…. Nothing further from reality!

We all have our peculiarities, manias that at a certain moment can annoy others and for which we ask for understanding. What happens is that, being our hobbies, those do not bother us.

How to reduce intolerance?

In this way, tolerance is not only respect for freedom of expression or worship, but also tries to bear the peculiarities of others without being infuriated by them. Tolerance is about self-control, patience, and emotional re-education.

On the other hand, the fact that we live in a society that is increasingly intolerant, no matter how much it makes banners in favor of diversity, does not mean that we have to necessarily join this current of antipathy to the peculiarities of everyday life , of the people around us. It’s sad, but the truth is that nobody teaches us to be tolerant.

This poorly practiced and trained skill is seen as a weakness. In other words, if we preach tolerance, they brand us as “soft” or “submissive.” On the contrary, contempt, lack of understanding and always thinking of one are related to a good citizen.

The practice against intolerance is fundamental and to be able to convert it into a habit requires a lot of patience. Yes, precisely that which we lack so much if someone commits a “fault” near us.

For this reason, we suggest that the next time a person sits next to you on the subway, even if there are empty seats everywhere, that they send you a message full of spelling mistakes or smoke near you, you count to 10 and don’t let anger reach you. rule.

With a calm mind you can understand that nobody is against you and that they do not want to ruin your day. They are simply living their life.