Indirect Violence In The Family

Beyond conflict situations between spouses, there is an abyss of possibilities, fears and doubts, which affects the family nucleus, impacting both directly and indirectly on the children. But do we really know the consequences that this situation can have on children? How does wicked violence affect you?

The mistreatment of children

The psychological abuse in the family or domestic violence , is sometimes camouflaged after education , aiming to break the will of the child / a to turn it into an obedient and docile. Children in these situations are unable to react, finding themselves under the dictatorship of silence due to the authority of adults.

Psychological abuse directed at children peeks through verbal violence , the behavior of contempt, the emotional rejection , the contradictory education and demands disproportionate to the age of the child. This type of family violence, which is never insignificant, can be carried out indirectly or directly.

The shadows of indirect violence

This type of psychological abuse, family violence , affects rebound children, since the violence is exerted on the other member of the couple, who is tried to destroy, thus splashing the children. The destruction aimed at the aggressor parent, uses the means of verbal communication (contempt, total disqualification, insults, lies, etc.), as well as non-verbal (grimaces, pointing, etc.) as well as the destruction of physical objects, violent behaviors such as beatings, aggrandizement of past events, etc.

Children therefore also become victims, because they are there and because they somehow refuse to distance themselves from the abused parent. They are witnesses to the conflict , receiving all the evil that the situation entails. Thus, children begin to isolate themselves , losing the capacity for individuation, due to the situation in which they are immersed, to which is added, the aggressiveness of the attacked parent who has not been able to express with the aggressor, and the vituperation of a parent over the other.

This situation of isolation can have serious consequences on children, since if they do not find a way to deal with it themselves, they will carry on their back a burden of suffering that they will reproduce in other places, with other people and in other situations. With the passage of time, the aggressor parent passes hatred towards the partner, his children as well, this being for the reasons that are a completely unacceptable behavior.

The situations of ambiguity that children experience can lead to their self-destruction , sooner or later, due to the uncertainty and moments of confusion, to which they are subjected in one way or another. The malicious behavior, full of hatred, and bad intentions of the aggressor parent, introduces them into a spiral with no way out in which the only thing that children look for and hope is the recognition of the parent who rejects them.

Something unlikely to happen, but that has serious consequences, such as the internalization of children of a negative image of themselves , accepting it as deserved . Thus, the aggressor father has in his hands a living and manipulable object, which he can subject to a great deal of humiliation, which he himself could have suffered years ago or is suffering.

If your child shows a happy or successful behavior in some facet, it is unbearable for him, having as a kind of need to make his son pay for the suffering that he lives or experienced. The manipulation of children is easy through emotional blackmail, because they tolerate without limits, they excuse the people they love, and they are always willing to forgive their parents, assume the blame and try to understand them.

For children, family violence is a very difficult situation , since they are under the orders of a single parent, while the other, the one who is perpetually assaulted, can rarely help them except with listening laden with suffering. . The situation can even be aggravated when the parent who does not attack, walks away and leaves the child alone to face the contempt of the other.

Perhaps we see this situation as far from reality, the truth is that it turns out to be more frequent than we think. Therefore, it does not hurt, to review our habits and behaviors from time to time, with the aim of modifying them if necessary, because violence is not only that we raise our hands to a child, or that we hit him, but also the act of humiliating him , criticize it, and despise it.