If There Is No Fire, Don’t Add Fuel To The Ashes

You know very well, without anyone telling you, that for a relationship to work it needs to flow without exorbitant effort and, even, you are aware that you deserve those people who make you burn with desire and not those who take them away.. And now that you know it, you just have to have the courage to repeat it until you believe it: it is not appropriate for me to wear myself out with a bonfire that no longer has a fire, I have to make way for it to burn again.

It is possible that you feel the hope that, so much fire lived next to someone, has left a small fire or at least a small flame. However, it is good to understand that if there is no way to share your life with that person again, it may be because the only thing that remained of the fire was the ashes.

So, if you are completely certain that it is no longer worth trying, the only alternative we have is to assume it and let the sore heal completely. We all need to heal our wounds sometime, so give yourself adequate time to recover and be able to start over and let another fire burn.

The sentimental emptiness and sadness that supposes that that long-cost bonfire no longer has a fire can make you feel despondent and you may not see the way forward, precisely because it was something that seemed to have been forged to be strong and durable. The emptiness that I have referred to is inevitable, especially if you continually think that that person who was there for everything is gone and now is when you need her most.

However, if you find yourself in this situation, the best gift you can give yourself is to accept that most things have an expiration date and relationships do not have to be less: everything has its moment, so take the ashes of that bonfire and turn them into lessons.

Blow the crevices, ease yourself

A contemporary poet, Pedro Andreu, says that “you learn to live by stoning” and it can become almost a universal law, given that, when you decide to think about what you have lived, you will perfectly remember that big stone that you had to dodge. In addition, you will not forget how you managed it, how you put salt on the wounds that the embers of the bonfire had made you, how you sat on the stone and jumped to advance.

Sooner or later, the wound will start to itch, the doubts, but at the same time the scar will come out and, if you do not remove it after a while, there will only be a small mark and a memory more loaded with positive aspects than with pain. You will love the new skin again, you will love it again in a different way – because no love is the same – but just as or even more beautiful.

Let new fires light up your life

As you have seen yourself in the situation of breaking up with a relationship that you also did not want to end, the normal thing is that, when new opportunities arise to share your life with someone again, you shy away and do not feel prepared for it.

However, if you have managed to return to where your heart was broken, you have forgiven, you do not mind meeting that person and that he sees you with someone, you are no longer looking for someone to replace him and you have understood that what “a nail takes out another nail ‘is not valid at all. If you have accomplished all of this, then you are ready to find the color in a new bonfire. As the song that I wanted to share with you says, “you managed to survive, choose to smile.”