I Want To Overcome The Past, But I Can’t

They say the past is always happening. This means that everything that we have lived remains in us, in one way or another. It is unavoidable. However, from there to being immersed in yesterday, without the possibility of overcoming the past, there is a whole abyss.

Miguel Hernández’s poem says: ” Everything passes and everything remains, but our thing is to pass .” So it is. It is impossible to flee from what we have been, from the traces that life has left on us. Still, getting over the past is critical to moving forward.

Now, the only way to overcome the past is by fully assuming it, identifying the way it has shaped us and specifying what it teaches us. On the other hand, if we do not look at it head on, we may confine it to a corner of memory where we do not have it present, but it continues to gravitate to our lives.

The irremediable of the past

One of the factors that prevents us from overcoming the past is the difficulty to accept what happened and that there is no going back. It seems obvious, but in the human being there is much that is irrational. For this reason, although it is useless, sometimes we are left regretting what happened or did not happen.

This happens when there are raw feelings about what happened. There may be a strong sense of guilt involved. Sometimes we are unable to forgive an offense, injury or damage suffered. Even sometimes, we fail to forgive ourselves. Consciously or unconsciously, we punish ourselves for having done or not doing something.

Reflection on the past should lead to a question: is it possible to repair what happened? If there is still something that can be done, the right thing to do is act. Instead of being sorry or sorry, just do what needs to be done to give you a different resolution to what happened. If it is no longer possible to do something, what is conducive is to cry, if it is necessary to cry and extract the teaching from what has been lived.

To get over the past, accept and let go

The impossibility of overcoming the past leads us to place ourselves in imaginary scenarios. It is the kingdom of “if there were” … It is possible that this will lead us to long musings. We fantasize about other possible outcomes. We long for a life in which what did not happen would not have happened. In the end, we are at the same point, with the aggravation of having renewed frustration.

Accepting the past means admitting that things will never be the same again. It doesn’t matter what we do, even if we manage to reverse the damage or the consequences. None of our acts will be able to return us to that yesterday that is no longer there.

It takes courage to accept, let go, and overcome the past. The will to do so is not enough. Transcending what happened is not an act of force, but of persistence and conviction. There is a time to review that yesterday, but there comes a point where it is reasonable to leave it behind.

Learn to live in the present

There are many cases in which proposing to live in the present is not enough to achieve it. In those cases, we have to do more than just purpose. The advisable thing is to create circumstances that call us to that present. That they allow us to locate ourselves in the here and now, because they demand our attention. Sometimes, it is necessary to build a new present to overcome the past.

To locate ourselves in the present we need to cut the ties that unite us with the past. At least all those links that we can eliminate. They say the best way to go is not to look back. That is why it is important to eradicate everything that induces us to turn our eyes to what has already happened. This gives us greater freedom and allows us to reflect without the anguish of what continues to drag on or continues to show its consequences.

Likewise, it is important that we begin to fill our lives with novelties. New friends, new hobbies, new interests. It is a time to renew ourselves, to change our life. We probably don’t have a lot of enthusiasm in the beginning. Something within us always prompts us to continue in the same way. Let us fight against that inertia and let ourselves be surprised by life. Now, if all this is impossible for us, do not hesitate to seek professional help.