Guilt Is What Stops Us

Guilt is the weight we carry on our hearts from the thoughts that always speak ill of us. Those who constantly remind us of the mistakes we make in our life or those that we consider as such. Guilt is a stone in our backpack.

Letting ourselves be guided by guilt is choosing the path of punishment, one that is full of ghosts from the past, which cloud the present and make us feel afraid of the future. Guilt limits our vision of ourselves and the world.

Blame for the past

We all make mistakes in life. It is one of the phrases most heard by others when we blame ourselves, but the difficulty is in not forgetting that we are human. Not letting ourselves be carried away by guilt is accepting that mistakes are part of our repertoire.

Thus, by accepting our condition as flesh and blood people with failed attempts, we let go of the idea that perfection is reaching the impossible goal of never failing. It is not possible to do everything and always well, these are impossible words.

To look back and only remember what we do wrong is to fall into the trap that the past is only made up of actions or words that we would like to change and cannot. If we changed our past we would not be the same.  Learning the wrong steps is the best possible learning, it is standing up to the ghosts and telling them: “Not only do you no longer scare me, but you have also taught me to be better people.”

The guilt of the present

The shadow of what “we should have done” and what “we should not have done” clouds our eyes in the face of all the possibilities that are presented to us. The tyranny of the ought is always to submit to it.  Guilt makes our present cover itself with a black cloak of disappointment and pessimism. 

We have a deep-rooted idea that thinking about what we did wrong is our deserved punishment for having acted incorrectly (or that we consider it that way). Reflection is important for our learning, but in excess we only do more harm.

We often hold the misconception that hitting ourselves with a whip in our thinking will remove the guilt. Not only is it not like that, but we fall into the error of thinking that by punishing ourselves we can really change reality.

Guilt is not eliminated through self-punishment, but the best we can do is think about what led us to make the mistake and take into account all the factors that existed for that situation to occur. Not everything that happens depends on us, reality is made up of uncontrollable winds and other people.

The weight of guilt

Living under the weight of guilt is feeling paralyzed to look ahead. If we live under its heavy influence, we will be afraid of any step we take for fear that it is false. Looking to the future is knowing that there will be good things and bad moments, it is life, and there are times when it is sad.

To walk lighter on the road, it is necessary to remove the chains and:

• Tell us: “yes, I could have done it differently, but it has already happened”
• Accept ourselves: “I am not just my mistakes, but the learning I got from them”
• Forgive us: “I am a human being with the right to make mistakes”
• Loving others: “you could do better, but it is enough that you recognize the mistake for it to be a success”
• Loving us: “I could do better, but I would not be the person I am today”

Image courtesy of Christian Schloe