Going To Bed Angry Or Worried, A Bad Habit

Going to bed angry or worried is a bad habit that we practice frequently. We do it almost without realizing it, because when emotions take over, we tend to drop our heads on the pillow thinking that perhaps, the next day, all the mist will have cleared. However, the dawn rarely solves anything on its own; in the end, the problems are still there.

It has happened to many of us. We argued with our partner and far from solving that disagreement, we resorted to reproach, to the unfortunate word and to that silence that takes us under the sheets where we sleep back to back, wrapped in childish pride and disagreement. Thus, bad rest is added to the uneasiness itself, and often even a long sleepless night.

Poor sleep almost always leads to a bad morning, an exhausted body and a mind that cannot think clearly. In this state, it is very difficult to find courage and ingenuity to successfully resolve that difference with our partner. Going to bed angry, as the old saying goes, is not the right thing to do.

What’s more, recent studies indicate that even if we are  able to rest for a few hours, going to bed with the weight of negative emotions affects our brain. This is a curious fact to take into account. Let’s learn more about the subject.

Why shouldn’t we go to bed angry or worried?

Going to bed angry or worried causes more than waking up in a bad mood: we even lose a good part of our cognitive potential. That is, processes such as memory, reflective capacity, creativity and that internal calm with which to face problems in a more active and proactive way is reduced.

Sherlock Holmes used to say that the solution to every problem is a good rest. However, such good advice is only fulfilled according to the experts if we are capable of one thing: to get into bed being able to put those worries aside. Laying your head on the pillow with a light, clear mind and oriented only to one goal, that of conciliating a good night’s rest does help and it is healthy.

Otherwise, if we go to bed with the haze of pressure, with the haze of stress that eats away, of anxiety or that anger that we dragged for a few hours with someone in particular, far from helping, it intensifies the discomfort. Because a negative emotional state not only makes it difficult to achieve a restful sleep, it also has an impact on our brain.

The brain and the impact of negative emotions during rest

Dr Yunzhe Liu from Beijing Normal University conducted a study in collaboration with University College London on this same topic. I wanted to know what effect going to bed angry or worried had. Thus, something that affects it in the first place, is the important thing to  manage our emotions and concerns to achieve bed in a more relaxed state.

Something that has been seen through MRI is that the effect of sleeping with a high load of anger, anguish and stress, alters various areas of the brain. Now, this is a cumulative effect. That is to say, not by arguing with the couple and going to sleep angry one isolated and punctual day are we going to notice something. Changes happen when this becomes common practice.

The same goes for work stress and constant worry. Going to bed with that negative imprint, week after week, ends up altering the brain in various ways:

• The hippocampus, a structure related to our memory and emotions, reduces its size.
• When we are angry, the activity of our frontal lobes, responsible for more rational thinking and executive tasks, is reduced. The mind then assumes the classic tunnel vision, that is, we only see a part of reality, the most negative, we are unable to relativize and the resources to solve problems in a more reflective and creative way fail.
• Our memory begins to fail. The brain cannot carry out its tasks effectively during those night hours, and this is evident in the difficulty to consolidate new memories.

Do not take your problems to the pillow

We have always been warned: going to bed angry or worried is not good. However, sometimes we go through times when problems oppress more than necessary and the mind begins to fill with knots, with reefs where we remain stranded for a long time. What to do then to avoid putting those tensions on the pillow?

The first thing is to prevent all that tension and anguish from building up. The problems that arise today are resolved as soon as possible, the disagreements that appear in our affective relationship or with any other person, are faced in the moment. Because everything that is left for tomorrow does not always resolve itself, but in most cases it becomes even more complicated.

Ideally, rest your mind and body in bed as light as possible of negative emotions. Techniques such as relaxation, meditation or deep breathing can help us. Also a hot bath, as well as enjoying a good time reading in bed while we let sleep take over on its own.

A calm mind sleeps better and, therefore, also helps us to live more fully, healthier.