Between Arguing And Being Happy, I Prefer To Be Happy

Arguing frequently absorbs our energies, leaves us without strength, without desire and without illusion. Anger suffocates us to such an extent that they end up taking the life out of our emotional well-being.

When the fights become habitual and we cannot get out of the spiral in which we have gotten ourselves, we suffer. And a lot. So there are times when we literally need to run away.

We may love the people around us, but when arguing becomes a way of life, we become a kind of “emotional ogre” and we only know how to grumble and get unhinged.

The importance of arguing in the right measure

It is not about never arguing, but knowing how to choose the reasons why it is worth doing and the reasons why it is not. In this sense, discussing has to serve to understand, validate and respect us; never to constantly torment us.

What happens is that when we are so dominated by irritability, we fail to respond to logic. Therefore, it is important that we learn to tolerate the frustration that someone does not think the same as us and, therefore, that a conflict is generated.

Thus, you have to know what to discuss and why not. In other words,  avoiding doing so is never a sign of inferiority, surrender or cowardice. Knowing how to argue and even get angry in the right measure is knowing how to handle our emotions, that is, having emotional intelligence.

The cold war as a result of frequent anger

When we purposely and purposefully ignore someone we are said to be applying the law of ice. This is something like hitting someone with the cruel whip of our indifference without offering any kind of explanation or deference.

Either because we want to end a spiral of anger or conflicts that are diminishing us, or because we do not know what to do to get rid of someone, the law of ice is true torture (and therefore intolerable behavior).

The law of ice is a truly destructive form of emotional abuse for people and relationships. This is so because if there is one thing we are not prepared for, it is facing indifference. Thus, since we must not allow ourselves to deliberately harm anyone, we must avoid applying it.

Non-stop arguing takes away the energy to live

When frequent arguments lead to anger, we end up getting angry at ourselves. We get frustrated by the helplessness of never agreeing and not being able to understand each other, we get angry because we can’t enjoy the other.

Little by little we stop feeling good and each time we feel more confused by our lack of desire to reconcile or even to talk. This is natural, because at the end of the day we have fallen out with the possibility of expressing our opinions and feelings.

In some way, each anger that we add supposes a new punishment to our identity and our internal approval. Therefore, we have to find a way to break with the habit of arguing for nonsense, break with everything and start worrying about what really matters: living and appreciating the good of those around us.