Believing In Yourself: The Psychology Of The Will

If you don’t do it, nobody will. Believing in yourself is not a matter of pride but of personal dignity. It is that psychological tie to which we cling every day to trust our decisions, to stop being afraid of mistakes and allow ourselves to get up one and a hundred times. Believing in ourselves is loving ourselves with courage knowing that we deserve something better.

It is quite possible that the phrase “believe in yourself” sounds to many to the recurring title of self-help books. However, if we see these four words so frequently in shop windows, manuals and specialized magazines, it is because of a very specific fact: it is enormously difficult for human beings to trust their abilities, enhance their virtues and believe in their possibilities.

If this is so, it is primarily due to the way we construct our inner reality. From childhood we shape our self-image based on the stimuli we receive and the interpretations we make of them. Thus, and based on what others tell us or project us, we will build a stronger and more resistant sense of identity or, on the contrary, we will develop a more vulnerable self.

Believing in yourself is not easy when our environment does not help. Trusting in your own abilities is not easy when we focus more on our failures than on the sense of improvement. Projecting a strong and courageous sense of identity is not easy either if we have been taught to focus much more on what others do, say or think instead of looking after ourselves …

Believing in oneself is accepting that we are unique, different from others

Often we are not aware of the rumor of our thoughts, of our attitudes, attributions and reasoning. They are the ones who outline the architecture of what we are, who limit or empower us, they are the ones who ultimately influence how we feel and how we behave.

The art of believing in yourself is above all an exercise of will. And the will is a muscle of power that is exercised through appropriate, focused and purpose-oriented thinking: promoting our well-being and our personal growth.

However, and we know this well, it is not easy to orient the compass of our thoughts towards positivism and self-confidence when what lives in us is low self-esteem. When what we feel is apathy, frustration and demotivation.

As curious as it may seem, something that our parents and even educational systems often forget is to teach us to believe in ourselves. Instead they guide us to be like most. Because “being normal” is doing, thinking and behaving like those around us, it is diluting our particularities in the ordinary, in the everyday. Because sometimes, being unique is being different, and different doesn’t fit well, it doesn’t rhyme. It’s disharmony in a world that loves predictability.

However, it is worth remembering something as simple and elementary as the following: we are not mass-produced beings, we are different from anyone else. We are exceptional and unrepeatable. We have unique fingerprints, with our own personality, with different features from the others. We were born to leave our mark on this world, and for this, we must find our purposes by believing in ourselves, in our power.

The psychology of the will: when belief is power

Believing in yourself is a constant exercise that we should never put aside. No one should leave home without a good dose of self-confidence and the firm belief that they deserve everything they want or set out for. For this reason, and from the framework of the psychology of the will, it is interesting to take into account these tips that can undoubtedly help or inspire us.

Clean slate

We do it often with our devices. There is nothing like restoring the system of a mobile or a computer so that it works faster and lighter. However, such action requires first of all knowing which files we are going to keep and which ones we choose to delete.

To believe in ourselves we must put aside many inherited attitudes, ideas that others have transmitted to us as well as attributions that one may have built. People boycott ourselves very often, and we do it when we underestimate ourselves or compare ourselves to others. End all those unhelpful approaches: clean slate.

The mountains move carrying small stones first

To achieve a goal we must believe in ourselves. However, the psychology of the will reminds us that as Confucius said, great feats are achieved first by achieving small victories.

Thus, and before setting excessive or too high goals, there is nothing like proposing small daily challenges. Those with whom you gain personal security, those where you can achieve greater confidence and a more positive self-image.

As we said at the beginning, the art of believing in yourself is like a muscle to exercise on a day-to-day basis. Therefore, we do not hesitate to make use of it, leaving aside the opinions of others. Let us dare to decide and leave our comfort zone day by day. Let’s face our insecurities little by little and without haste …

Wherever you go, always be yourself

To believe in yourself, never be away from yourself. Wherever you go, do not lose your essences, do not leave behind your values, your passions or your identity. May your essence mark each of your steps and decisions, without fear of what others may think. Being yourself at every moment and in every situation is not always easy, therefore, that daily effort is also an exercise of will, where you gain confidence and personal security.

To conclude, although people can never control what life can bring us, what we can control is the way we react to any circumstance. If we believe in ourselves the difficulties will be less harsh, and the mountains less high. Let’s think about it.

Main image courtesy of Dimitra Milan